Community ~ Journals by Writer ~ Bhuwan ~ Grief

The Journals of Wild Poets

Grief
Journals - Bhuwan
Written by Bhuwan Thapaliya
   
Tuesday, 06 July 2010 08:36
smaller text tool iconmedium text tool iconlarger text tool icon
Clouds of choking dustswirl through Haiti, bodies lie splayedin a pile: an expandingmatrix of bereavement. A man holdsa half peeled orange, a mother liesnear her daughter, face dismantled ruthlesslyby the trembling beast. A young boywith outstretched arms seemscrucified. Who willcover them with Earth? Who will pluck some flowersand place them upon their grave? All alone, a wounded survivorstands apart, gazing in disbeliefat the sky frozen by horrorand lost in a Ginsberg daze, he feelsthe world crumbling in his mouth,

flimsy and frail.

 

 

Copyright 2010 Bhuwan Thapaliya
Back to Top
 
Comment (2 posts)

mcberry
Re:Grief
Sep 05 2010 11:36:17
Hello Bhuwan Thapliya,

thank you for the lines. I always appreciate a writer`s open response to quakes. Usually poets seem to be eaten up by their inner life rather than to answer the news. On the other side a nightmare is not literature all by itself.

Quote: "a mother lies near her daughter" so death took young and old without making a difference. You did not work on with pictures of a generation wiped out. Quote: " face dismantled ruthlessly by the trembling beast" The earthquake is the beast? I am not sure to understand this right.

Quote: "gazing in disbelief at the sky frozen by horror and lost ..." the grammar refers to the survivour as well as to he open space, making sense either way. This is quite lyrical, really good.

Looks like one of the small texts to me, a few monthes from now, you might look at again and rework and add on... Worth while anyway. Sincerely mcberry
 #805

Code Blue
Re:Grief
Sep 05 2010 15:12:22
Wow ! ! I remember this from the event. I always find it difficult to get into the news cycle as they're happening because I'm dealing with it on my own.

After and during the facts that remain, I think this is a great emotive and questioning piece. Thanks for posting.

My only wish would be a stronger construction of lines & breaks. I'd like to see this formatted so as to serve its flow properly.

All the best,
#809

You need to login or register to post comments.
Comment on this work in the Cauldron. (2 posts)
           | 
Creative Commons License
The content above is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License, in the name of the attributed author, unless otherwise noted.

All unattributed content is provided under the same license by www.wildpoets.com. Wild Poets is run on open source code, licensed under the GPL or similar open-source licenses. Please click here to view our software credits.
Powered by Joomla!
Web hosting services by SiteGround